Monday, October 19, 2009

My mental breakdowns....

I have talked briefly about my debt breakdowns but I would like to talk about them a little more in this post. It is a timely post because I am having a little bit of a breakdown myself these days. The reasons for my recent breakdown include: feeling helpless, past regrets, and being over programed.

I feel helpless because of the economy and a family member close to me is very sick. I am praying so hard I feel like my heart is about to burst. I pray every morning for those on my getting out of debt prayer list and I truly want everyone to be out of debt and feel peace inside.

I know from the depths within myself that I can only do so much and I am trying so hard in so many areas of my life. Then I am walking on the treadmill yesterday during a break at work and CNN is on the television in the gym. At this particular time, there is this whole program on about how credit card companies are increasing minimum payments from say $100 to $500.

Is this happening to you?

I just was so angry when I saw this because this poor family had $18,000 in debt and they had been paying their monthly payment of $300 and then their credit card company decided that they weren't paying fast enough so they increased it to $900 a month. Now, this family can't afford to pay the monthly minimum payment. I feel so helpless. I truly hope that my blog is helping you but I can't do anything about those credit card companies. I am truly sorry.

This brings me to why I am blogging today. While I was in debt I had these feelings of regret, depression, sadness, anger, shame, negative thoughts, etc. on a regular basis. To this day, I can't believe that I am out of debt because I had so many doubts and negative thoughts. I was angry at everything and I was angry at myself. I obsessed over the amount of debt that I had and I checked my balances way too often to be healthy.

I am here today to give you hope. To let you know that you can get out of debt and you will get out of debt. I know it. I understand how hard it is and I can only imagine how you feel right now. Please, please don't give up.

I know this can be easier said than done because like you I struggle too. I am struggling right now inside. In the next couple of weeks, I am starting too new blogs to work out these struggles and some of my dreams.

The blogs are going to be:

1. Follow me while I study for the Certified Financial Planner (CFP) Exam
2. My quest to live positively (this is due to my recent breakdown) I need to be more positive!

I will let you know when these blogs are up and running. If you want to follow along with these blogs as well you are more than welcome. It will be triple the Janie! :)

Are you having breakdowns? Or do you have a lot of negative self talk that you need to work on?

Best wishes,



  1. I often feel like I am never going to get anywhere- I live basically in my means - but just so tightly that sometimes it gets tricky if something comes up. It makes me sad that all I want for my birthday next week, or christmas is money so that I can pay off a card and have a little wiggle room. I don't keep any credit cards in my wallet to make sure I don't make the situation worse. I honestly started stressing about christmas this year - I don't know how I am going to afford presents. I am going to have to get creative and give homemade gifts. I often get down because it is only my fault that I am in the position and I just wish I could get out, one day though. I know. Just hard to see that day

  2. Janie, I have to say thank you for your writing, especially this post. We are all struggling and to read your words makes it seem possible. Like Angela mentioned it is hard to see, especially at this time of the year. I've already told my boyfriend (who has been unemployed since March) that we will not exchange gifts for our birthdays (in 2 wks) or Christmas. BF is planning to cook dinner and I am baking his cake (I haven't baked in over 20 yrs).

    As of this week, I am planning on not shopping through the rest of the year. As of Nov, I am planning to save every $5 bill I receive as change. I read Suze Orman the other day and she mentioned since the CC companies are being outrageous to the point you raised, to only pay the min due and build your emergency fund - that did it for me. I only have 1 cc card with an $800 balance. I will pay it off in full with my tax refund in Jan and not worry about it.

    So barring any major mishaps, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to discover the discipline inside and not spend what is supposed to be for emergencies.

    Again, thanks so much for your words...and a word to Angela - instead of buying gifts this year, offer services or bake cookies, breads, cook dinners - your family and close friends will understand and you may find they appreciate your efforts over a store bought gift.

  3. Hi Angela,

    First, I want to wish you a Happy early Birthday wish. Thank you for letting me know your feelings and thoughts in the comments section. While I was in debt I gave a lot of home made gifts like home made cookies, crafts, and creative ideas. I am putting together a special post dedicated to gift giving during this holiday season.

    You are doing so well!

    Best wishes,


  4. Hi TxtNYQueen,

    Oh you are too sweet. You made me feel so good today and I so needed your comment myself. Thank you for your kind words. It truly means a lot to me. I think your plan looks really good and you have obviously thought it through. Good for you! You are on the right track and you are learning so much about yourself along the way. That is so sweet that you are baking a cake.

    I have to tell you that I bake every year for my husband's birthday and I get so stressed out. I am totally worried that I am going to mess it up and then have to run out to the store and buy an emergency cake. Hahhahaha.

    Best wishes,



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